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Avenue Women’s Center Blog

Real people writing about real problems.

“My Partner Wanted a Pregnancy, Now He Wants Me to Abort”

Sometimes, here at Avenue Women’s Center, we will see women who were originally excited about a pregnancy, but due to a change in circumstances, they may now be considering abortion. For some women their partner initially wanted to continue the pregnancy, but then changed his mind, and now wants her to terminate. What happens when suddenly and unexpectedly, you are finding yourself faced with a decision to continue a pregnancy without the support of your partner?

“He Put the Word ‘Abortion’ in My Ear”

When you’ve been in a relationship with someone for a while, you begin to feel like you understand each other really well. You know his likes, dislikes, quirks, and even fears. He knows you too—the things that drive you crazy and the hopes you have for the future. When you recently found out you were pregnant, it wasn’t planned, but it wasn’t the end of the world. You felt like the two of you could figure this out together, and were planning on continuing the pregnancy. When you told him, perhaps he didn’t respond as well as you hoped and suddenly things shifted. What happens when you were thinking about parenting together, but he put the word “abortion” in your ear?

Thinking About Abortion When Your Partner Is Leaning Towards Parenting

No matter the status of your relationship with your partner, the news of an unexpected pregnancy can come as a surprise. For some women, it can be a relief to learn their partner wants the pregnancy to continue. But perhaps you have conflicted emotions about your unexpected pregnancy, and if you’ve been leaning towards abortion, then you may feel a little confused about what your choice should be. How do you navigate an unexpected pregnancy when your partner is leaning towards parenting, but you are thinking about abortion?

I’m Worried My Partner and I Are Not Ready for an Unexpected Pregnancy

An unexpected pregnancy can be challenging for couples. Regardless of how long you may have been together, there is still the presence of change within your relationship. Accepting a circumstance that may not have been part of your immediate plan can be tough, as even couples who have been together for years are stunned after receiving unexpected pregnancy news. You may feel unprepared, and it’s likely you have a lot of questions about what this could mean for you and your partner. Since each relationship is different, the way couples respond to an unexpected pregnancy varies. Having a clear understanding on how to communicate with each other based on the relationship you and your partner have can assist with the creation of a pregnancy plan you both feel comfortable with.

Coping with an Unsupportive Partner

Telling your boyfriend or husband about a pregnancy can seem intimidating – especially if this is not a time when either of you were expecting it. You may be worried about how he will react, as the two of you may not have been in a point in your relationship where you discussed the possibility of a pregnancy. While every situation is different, the reaction your partner has to the news may depend on his personal views about unexpected pregnancy and the level of your relationship. Some men may feel the same way as you did upon hearing the news: shocked, confused, and maybe a little scared. But how do you cope with an unsupportive partner who may be hesitant to be a part of your decision?