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Avenue Women’s Center Blog

Real people writing about real problems.

Considering Abortion: I’m Planning to Be a Mom—Just Not Now

If you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant, you might be wondering if you’ll be able to handle a pregnancy at this point. Is this a “perfect time” to be pregnant? Some might answer yes if all the “right” pieces of life are fitting into place: the right age, the right partner, the right income, and the right home. But what if you have all the “right” pieces of life’s puzzle put together and a pregnancy still catches you off guard? Or what if an unexpected pregnancy comes at what feels like the worst possible moment in life? Life is often not a perfect mixture, so how can you tell if now is the time to continue an unexpected pregnancy?

Finding Your Voice During an Unexpected Pregnancy

Have you ever experienced a moment when you wish you would have spoken up about something? It can be tough to speak up in a bustling, loud world—even when you think or feel that you should. Some people have no problem sharing their truths verbally, while others struggle to unleash their inner voices. We can often become silent in tough situations from possible feelings of self-doubt, sincere empathy for others, fear of being offensive, or avoiding harsh judgment and backlash. Like many others, you might think handling things on your own is a sign of inner strength. But sometimes the greatest strength comes from finding your voice and speaking up when it feels hardest to do.

Pregnant Again After a Recent Abortion

Facing one unexpected pregnancy can be difficult enough, but what if you find yourself pregnant again after a recent abortion? Another pregnancy is probably the last thing you thought would happen so soon. You might be feeling a tidal wave of emotions—disbelief, shock, anger, sadness, shame, disappointment, or embarrassment. Why and how could this happen again? What if you aren’t sure what to do or how you’re going to handle another pregnancy decision?

“I’m Sorry for Getting Pregnant”

For some women, learning that they’re unexpectedly pregnant can be a terribly remorseful experience. You might start thinking back on the series of events and decisions that led you to this point, wondering about all the things you could have done differently. You could feel a heavy weight of blame rather than acknowledging that you aren’t the only one involved in this pregnancy. You may have many reasons to feel sorry about an unexpected pregnancy—but it’s important to resist the urge to apologize and learn how to forgive yourself for the unintended.

Are You Following the Crowd or Making Your Own Path?

Pleasing others is an easy trap to get caught in. Comparison is difficult to resist. If we look hard enough, we can always find someone who is smarter, prettier, or more successful than we are. Will we resist the comparison game and find a way to make choices that are based on what is right for ourselves?